Carnegie 09.2.6: How to Win Friends and Influence People: Pt 2, Ch 9 – PRINCIPLE 6 Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely. – How to Make People Like You Instantly

Pages 126 – 138.

Carnegie hits with a simple directive – be interested in people.  He also highlights not to go to far – do not pander.

Best Quote

“What was I trying to get out of him!!! What was I trying to get out of him!!!”

Carnegie’s point here is that he is not pandering, and that he had sincere interest.  He didn’t want to know the other person in order to gain – he just wanted to know them.  Why not?  Life is short.  Say hello to the person next to you.

Page by Page

126

Dale stars again in the opening anecdote.  Carnegie wants to make the clerk like him, so he looks for an honest, sincere compliment to open the dialog.

“So while he was weighing my envelope, I remarked with enthusiasm: “I certainly wish I had your head of hair.””

127

“What was I trying to get out of him!!! What was I trying to get out of him!!!”

“I got the feeling that I had done something for him without his being able to do anything whatever in return for me.“

The law states, “Always make the other person feel important.”

William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

128

“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

129

“Apparently each thought that she was in charge of this project.”

The subject of the story is in a familiar position – managing a poorly organized non profit activity.

130

“The life of many a person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.”

This is a real truth of Carnegie’s made even more important in a modern world where it can be very hard to connect with others.  Take interest in those who are around you.

131

“To help me never forget this rule, I made a sign which reads “YOU ARE IMPORTANT.”

Carnegie repeats the Emerson quote from earlier:

“Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.””

132

“This house was built with love.“

Mr. R is acting on the guidance from the earlier chapter – he is being sincere in his listening skills and talking about what his aunt loves – her home.

133

“You appreciate beautiful things.” The Aunt appreciates his interest and rewards him with a car.  The stars of Carnegie’s anecdotes are always quickly rewarded.

134

“Yet in spite of all these tremendous accomplishments, he craved little recognitions even as you and I.”

135

“You remind me of something I had almost forgotten. It is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Even with great wealth, George Eastman appreciates the compliment.

136

“Finally, George Eastman turned to Adamson and said, “The last time I was in Japan I bought some chairs, brought them home, and put them in my sun porch. But the sun peeled the paint, so I went downtown the other day and bought some paint…”

137

“You mean a great deal to me and to this company, and you are as important to the success of this restaurant as I am.’”

138

“Talk to people about themselves,” said Disraeli, one of the shrewdest men who ever ruled the British Empire, and they will listen for hours.”

PRINCIPLE 6 Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

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1 Response to Carnegie 09.2.6: How to Win Friends and Influence People: Pt 2, Ch 9 – PRINCIPLE 6 Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely. – How to Make People Like You Instantly

  1. Pingback: Carnegie 18.3.09: How to Win Friends and Influence People -PRINCIPLE 9 Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires – What Everybody Wants | Fred Lybrand

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