Carnegie 13.3.04: PRINCIPLE 4 Begin in a friendly way – A Drop of Honey

Pages 172 – 181.

It’s easy to imagine a brash reader having finished the previous chapter and covered “Principle 3: Admit it if you are wrong” setting forth in a blaze of glory.  While thinking to themselves, “They’ll just admit they are wrong, all I have to do is point it out!” the brazen hero sets out to point out everyone else’s faults all day long.  “I’m a great leader, enabling them to simply admit their mistakes…”

This would leave behind a trail of ill will and hesitance.  Carnegie lays it out clearly – figure out how to get your point across in a friendly way.  Further, if you’re persuading and guiding a group decision – then figure out how to get your point across in a positive way that creates the greatest amount of support.

Best Quote

“They can’t be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.”

Page by Page

173

“If your temper is aroused and you tell ’em a thing or two, you will have a fine time unloading your feelings. But what about the other person? Will he share your pleasure? Will your belligerent tones, your hostile attitude, make it easy for him to agree with you?”

174

“This is a red-letter day in my life,” Rockefeller began.

175

“They can’t be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.”

176

“Daniel Webster, who looked like a god and talked like Jehovah, was one of the most successful advocates who ever pleaded a case; yet he ushered in his most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as: “It will be for the jury to consider,” “This may, perhaps, be worth thinking of,” “Here are some facts that I trust you will not lose sight of,” or “You, with your knowledge of human nature, will easily see the significance of these facts.”

177

“But I said to myself, ‘I am studying a course in how to deal with people, so I’ll try it on him—and see how it works.’”

178

Photographer of a group of public utility workers…

But this is a unique situation. …” And Dean Woodcock went on to explain how this was the first job of this type for his department and how everybody from executives down was interested.”

179

Flood damaged house –

“During the twenty-five-mile trip to his office, I carefully reviewed the situation and, remembering the principles I learned in this course, I decided that showing my anger would not serve any worthwhile purpose.”

180

“The sun then told the wind that gentleness and friendliness were always stronger than fury and force.”

181

“Remember what Lincoln said: “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.””

PRINCIPLE 4 Begin in a friendly way.

 

About flybrand1976

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1 Response to Carnegie 13.3.04: PRINCIPLE 4 Begin in a friendly way – A Drop of Honey

  1. Pingback: Carnegie 14.3.05: PRINCIPLE 5 Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately – The Secret of Socrates | Fred Lybrand

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