Carnegie 30.4.9: How to Win Friends and Influence People – PRINCIPLE 9 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. – Making People Glad to Do What You Want

Pages 277 – 282

This is our final chapter, and the guidance ties together many lessons.  We’ve listened to the other party, and we are focused on their wants.  Now, we’re going to use our understanding of their needs to help them achieve their goals and simultaneously us achieve ours.  Carnegie is foreshadowing the ‘win-win’ negotiation style.

Best Quote(s)

“Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.” Page 277

Page by Page

Page 277

Avoiding WWI with diplomacy.

“I replied that the President thought it would be unwise for anyone to do this officially, and that his going would attract a great deal of attention and people would wonder why he was there. …”

“Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.”

Page 278

President Wilson talks with the Secretary of Treasury, “…He had a delightful way of putting things; he created the impression that by accepting this great honor I would be doing him a favor.”

Page 279

“No, after expressing his appreciation of the invitation and regretting his inability to accept it, he suggested a substitute speaker.”

I suspect that person was Carnegie!

Page 280

Napoleon was criticized for giving “toys” to war-hardened veterans, and Napoleon replied, “Men are ruled by toys.”

Carnegie goes on to say that toys are, “necessary to change attitudes or behavior:”

Page 281

“Probably not very happy, but happier than if you had not pointed out the benefits.”

Page 282

“It is naïve to believe you will always get a favorable reaction from other persons when you use these approaches, but the experience of most people shows that you are more likely to change attitudes this way than by not using these principles—and if you increase your successes by even a mere 10 percent, you have become 10 percent more effective as a leader than you were before—and that is your benefit.”

PRINCIPLE 9 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.