Pages 196 – 201.

If you’re working with a customer or business partner, it is always helpful if they personally support the new idea you’re pursuing.  If they are the initiator of the idea, if the idea is truly theirs – then this support is implicit.

Carnegie’s writings focus on 1-on-1 interactions.  There is a proper product to sell or a direct interaction leading to a result.  In a modern consensus based format, building a team vision is a big part of being an effective leader.  Teams support an idea if the process by which it was created was valid and if they had a voice.

Carnegie’s focus here – and it feels dated – is that the other person will advocate more for an idea if they come to it on their own.  The insinuation is that they are led to the idea, rather than really asked in a participatory fashion.

Best Quote(s)

“The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them.” Lao-tse

Page by Page

196

“Isn’t it wiser to make suggestions—and let the other person think out the conclusion?”

“The people had made a sort of moral bargain with me,” said Mr. Seltz, “and as long as I lived up to my part in it, they were determined to live up to theirs. Consulting them about their wishes and desires was just the shot in the arm they needed.”

“We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.”

197

“Won’t you please tell me how we could finish them up in such a way that you could use them?”

198

Carnegie tells a story about a man from Oklahoma (my home state) who is scheduling some trips and trying to create a plan that accommodates his family’s diverse desires.  He does so by letting them talk.

199

“The more I studied it, the more I discovered for myself how much I liked it.” – here the purchasing agent for a hospital is struggling with which  X ray equipment to buy.  He is assisted by the open process that one of the seller’s runs, allowing him to peruse the equipment ahead of time.

“Did House interrupt him and say, “That’s not your idea. That’s mine”?”

200

“I was bewildered. I didn’t know which to choose.”

201

“The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them.” Lao-tse

PRINCIPLE 7 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.