Pages 190 – 195.

Carnegie builds off Principle 5 – once the other party is saying “yes” – encourage them to talk.  Use your conversational skills to keep them going, and rather than lecture them about some topic important to you – keep them talking about what matters to them.

I wouldn’t dream of correcting Carnegie’s advice – but this technique builds on the assumption that both you and the other person have a shared goal or topic.  In Carnegie’s examples the sales people are advancing the cause of a transaction or scenario already known to both parties.  Interestingly, Goldratt states clearly that in a scenario where you want people to do something new – then the onus is on you to introduce and frame the topic.

Carnegie’s guidance here under Principle 6 works best when there is already a shared vision of the future between the people in the conversation.  Here, let them talk.  Many times people don’t give themselves time to think until the meeting happens.  This time, talking out loud, bouncing ideas off of you – can often be their first formal thinking time on the subject.  Help them think through it by keeping the ball in their court.

Best Quote(s)

“I know I would have lost the contract if I hadn’t lost my voice, because I had the wrong idea about the whole proposition. I discovered, quite by accident, how richly it sometimes pays to let the other person do the talking.”

Page by Page

190

“Encourage them to express their ideas fully.”

191

“I know I would have lost the contract if I hadn’t lost my voice, because I had the wrong idea about the whole proposition. I discovered, quite by accident, how richly it sometimes pays to let the other person do the talking.”

192

“He showed an interest in the other person and his problems. He encouraged the other person to do most of the talking—and made a favorable impression.”

193

““As he talked about these advantages to me, he talked himself out of each negative thought he had when he came in for the interview.”

194

La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said: “If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”

195

“Now, when we have some time to chat, I ask them to share their joys with me, and I only mention my achievements when they ask.”

PRINCIPLE 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.