How to Win Friends and Influence People: Pt 1, Ch 2 – PRINCIPLE 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation – “The Big Secret of Dealing with People”

Carnegie’s second chapter, titled “The Big Secret of Dealing with People” covers PRINCIPLE 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Carnegie’s masterful persistent patter continues. Lincoln reappears as an example with a wonderful quote. We see negative and positive examples all to reinforce that sincere compliments – not idle flattery – are well appreciated by all.

Best Quote

Lincoln once began a letter saying: “Everybody likes a compliment.”

Page by Page

041

“The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.”

“Dr. [John] Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important.” Remember…”

042

Lincoln once began a letter saying: “Everybody likes a compliment.”

William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

Personal example – “The hogs didn’t care about the ribbons they had won.”

043

“If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are.”

044

“History sparkles with amusing examples of famous people struggling for a feeling of importance.”

045

“Some authorities declare that people may actually go insane in order to find, in the dreamland of insanity, the feeling of importance that has been denied them in the harsh world of reality.”

046

If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.

047

Schwab – “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

048

“In my wide association in life, meeting with many and great people in various parts of the world,” Schwab declared, “I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.”

Carnegie tombstone – “Here lies one who knew how to get around him men who were cleverer than himself.”

049

Husband with roses, “‘I can’t think of six things I would like to change about you. I love you the way you are.’”

050

“There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem.”

051

The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.

052

King George VI- “Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.”

053

“Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.”

054

Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”

055

PRINCIPLE 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.

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1 Response to How to Win Friends and Influence People: Pt 1, Ch 2 – PRINCIPLE 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation – “The Big Secret of Dealing with People”

  1. Pingback: How to Win Friends and Influence People: Carnegie’s 3 “In a Nutshell Fundamental Techniques in Handling People” | Fred Lybrand

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